Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Frosting Buckets

When I was growing up, the best gift was a homemade one. So you can imagine the unbearable pressure placed upon my husband and son when a holiday comes up. They gently try to pry from me some hint of the elusive perfect gift. And they get nothing but flack back, because Momma wants something homemade. Or, if it cannot be homemade, then something that was obtained at a garage sale for an amazingly ridiculously low price. Yes, I am beyond the age of wanting jewelry. Flowers are frivolous unless purchased from Aldi's for $3.99. One of the best gifts my boys made ev-er was when they made me fudge for Mother's Day one year, and to avoid having to go to the store to get a card, they wrote the card in peanut butter across the top. Now, that, I tell you, is the true measure of their love and inventiveness.

So as we approach the holiday season, I've decided to tell them, in clear and certain terms, of the perfect gift. I'm even including a picture and instructions for how to obtain it.

I want frosting buckets.

That's right, you heard it here first. I want Walmart Frosting Buckets. My cousin Michelle brought a couple over as we were preparing to do a dying project. I looked at the label and was astounded that Michelle's family could possibly consume so much frosting. It's a five gallon bucket, after all. But Michelle says that if you go to a Walmart with a bakery, you can ask if they have any, and if they do, they give them to you for free. So, dear friends and family, that is what I want. I want frosting buckets. Cleaned out of frosting residue, preferably, but don't let that stop you if you have a chance to get me some. 

One can't help but wonder what it is about frosting buckets that has tickled my fancy so. Well JUST LOOK AT IT! With its lid on, you can stack them. It has a handle. You can't tell from the picture, but the plastic is a bit on the transparent side, so you can sort of tell what's in there. And so, with my stash of frosting buckets, I dream of storing my fiber inside neatly labelled frosting buckets. They are a perfect size for putting on shelves. They can be easily carried. It must be so clear now to anyone who looks at them that the frosting bucket is the most perfect containment system ever devised by man

So. If you REALLY love me. And, I think you do. Please go to Walmart and charm their bakery out of frosting buckets. And then steel yourself, because you are going to want to keep the frosting buckets for yourself. But you have to give it up. You have to give me the frosting buckets. It's that simple. And please don't forget the lids. I'm nothing without the lids.

I think my friend Hope thinks that if you're going to have an obsession with frosting buckets, then the least you can do is make them look purty. So here is my ode to Hope:

Please note that I thought myself terribly clever when I decided to include a sample of the fiber on the outside of the bucket.


  1. Can I buy you 3x5 notecards, a roll of clear packing tape and a Sharpie instead? The shipping cost of oodles and oodles of frosting buckets would unnerve your joy of free buckets! The notecards, tape and sharpie could be utilized in a cost effect manner to label the fiber buckets in a classy fashion, something that you'll surely want; as it will match the beauty of the fiber!

  2. Ah, Hope, the minute I published my bucket picture I realized that my identification methodology was not doing justice to the contents. A collection of Sharpies has been dug out, and I am now re-contemplating the labeling system. That said, please be sure that if you ever do a boondoggle out my way, you stop at all the bakery-laden grocery stores along the way to collect up more free buckets!

  3. True confession - when I came bounding up to my husband with my first free frosting bucket score, he wanted to look inside to see if it had frosting in it... afraid, I think, that I might stick my head in to clean it out.